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My mental health

This blog is about my mental health which is not very good right now.

Interestingly, May is Mental health awareness month, and I want to share something personal.

I wish I could describe what’s going on with my mental/emotional health or how I feel. Sometimes I feel depressed, and sometimes I feel sad and don’t want to talk to anyone. I can spend a whole day without talking to anyone.

My parents wonder why I don’t want to talk. But, It’s very complex.

I am not able to enjoy things I love like workout or blogging, because I don’t feel like doing them. I used to wake up at 4:55 am, but now I cannot even convince myself to get up at 5:45 am.

There are various things going on with me and I feel helpless with them. I hope to get rid of them soon.

I am subscribed to various newsletters, and recently I received an article which was about Sunday scaries. This is when people feel depressed or stressed out on Sundays. At first, I thought, maybe this is the case with me. But, I feel stressed more frequently (other than Sundays).

I am ambivert outside WP, but now I don’t even want to talk to anyone at all. People at the gym consider me Snobbish, but there I’m much more focused on my workout, and now I don’t even feel like greeting people, because I feel negative energy is consuming me. This was not before, because a few years ago I was more friendly with people (even while being an ambivert).

I started blogging in 2021 because I wanted an escape, it helped me with my mental health, and now I suddenly feel that I cannot write a blog.

Unlike some people, I don’t blog randomly, I work on my blogs very hard and I share researched blogs. Now, with my current mental state, I don’t want to write for the sake of showing up. I would rather write a blog whenever I feel a strong connection with the topic.

So, I would like to take a short break from writing. Meanwhile, you can read my other blogs. I have written 120+ and I am sure you haven’t read them all. I am also updating my previous blogs in the meantime.

Right now, I don’t feel like smiling, but I hope you do. Stay healthy

DEVANG UPADHYAYA

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100 responses to “My mental health”

  2. Oh my! Please take care of yourself.💕 It is very hard to show up and then not show up, but this is your blog. I have notifications on so when you post I can see it.

    I follow you to see you and your writing, I also find your posts interesting and admire the amount of research you do.

    Don’t put pressure on yourself, we all appreciate you. Just take care.☺️

    We’ll be here when you come back.😁

    Reply

  3. Devang, I’m sorry that you are going through a rough time right now. I don’t know what it is you are going through but feeling hopeless is tough. I have been there too many times. It is hard to want to talk about it or even do what you love. Take baby steps and just try and do one thing that will bring joy back into you. It will help. I hope that this is only temporary but if it goes on longer than a couple of weeks, you might want to talk to a doctor or a friend. Sometimes talking can help even when we don’t want to. Much love to you Devang.

    Reply

  4. Dear Devang,
    Thank you so much for your honesty about how you are feeling. That is so important for mental health. The symptoms you described are classic for clinical depression. I have clinical depression and it has helped me a lot to take an antidepressant and see a counselor. I hope you will visit a doctor to see if they think medication will help you. Sorry you are going through a difficult time. My thoughts are with you. Rebecca

    Reply

      • Ok. I know from experience I can’t change your mind on things. 🙂 I’ll just say that for me, I was worried that I was weak or not trying hard enough if I’d need to take medicine. But it has made it possible for me to live my life. Take care, know a lot of people care about you out here in cyberspace! R

      • Devang, Please go to your physician , hopefully someone who is more holistic, who can see if there is a physical reason why you’re feeling the way you are.

        Some physical illnesses can show depression as a symptom. Also, some vitamin deficiencies can trigger depression, please Google those. Additional stress can deplete our normal healthy levels, so even adding supplements which help the immune system can boost our moods.

        If you need antidepressants or anxiety medications, those can even be very helpful if the depression is situational or transient.

        We don’t have to wait until we are a huddled mass of crying human on the floor to ask for help! It’s okay to ask for help when it is still in the early phase!

        You are writing about it, so it is already manifesting in your life to a degree that is affecting your joy. You take physical health very seriously, and as you know, our mental and physical health systems are very interconnected and intertwined, so physical stresses over time can show up as depression.

        Take care of yourself in all the small ways you can, each day!

      • Good for you! Do see if there’s any physical reason why you may be experiencing thise symptoms. I say symptoms, because there is often an underlying physical or emotional cause and when we can identify it, we can set up a plan of action for ourselves.

      • No, no physical reason.

        I’m going good physical health wise
        Lost weight and feel healthy.

        Maybe, now I want something with my body, that’s making me anxious.

      • That’s a very good thing to explore. Our hopes and expectations can be based on a dream we have for ourselves or they can come from reality and what is actually doable.

        If what you want is doable for you, then setting a plan of action is a good response. However, if what you are wishing to do is not doable, then working through the layers of grief and letting go would be the next step.

        I have had bad knees since I was 15, had to give up a dream of joining a junior ski team in Canada after I had been invited to join. When it became obvious that I was more of a danger to people on the hills that those I was trying g to help, I had to stop being a ski patroller, and soon afterwards I even had to give up skiing altogether.

        I would dream of running, of cycling long distaces, but I had to alter those dreams to choose things that were doable for my body.

        Acceptance of our limitations is difficult, important if we do not want to risk injuring ourselves or others.

        These are very real issues, even if no one else can relate to them or understand what you are going through.

      • Yes, I’m trying…

        I will learn more about it and see what I can do best for myself.

        Yes, doing what’s doable is practical.

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts

      • That’s good Devang. You may wish to consider talking with a therapist or counselor to be able to explore some of the things you’re struggling with. Doing it alone can be difficult because we don’t always see what’s there very clearly and having g feedback from someone else can help speed up the process.

      • Haven’t seen the psychologist yet.

        But, maybe in the future.
        My mood goes up and down. I feel good somedays and a few times I feel bad.

      • I understand. I went through years of that. When I felt good, I figured I had enough strength to keep going and handle what would come up, and then when the downs came I struggled through. I kept on that cycle for many years. When my second husband threatened to kill himself if I left, I contacted a therapist who kindly saw us both. Talking with a trained person who was objective really helped me. The sessions stopped when my husband refused to go anymore, and su ce it was on his insurance the therapist couldn’t continue to see me alone for sessions, but I had already learned a lot and found the strength to proceed to the next step I had been avoiding out of fear of it backfiring on me.

        There are psychotherapists who take years for treatment, and there are also counselors trained in situational therapy. You may need to shop around to find the right fit.

        Going to one doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with us, it’s just a way we can help ourselves faster than doing it alone and trying g to gut it out.

  5. Devang, I admire how much you have accomplished with your blog. I also admire your courage to talk so transparently about what you are experiencing personally. Take good care of yourself, and I think the comment of Pennize is a good one. Please reach out to someone closer who you can trust to talk about this. I understand your need to isolate from strangers right now, but I hope there is someone close to you who can help. I’m also sending love to you.

    Reply

  6. Hi Devang,
    It makes sense that you want to take a break from blogging because of your mental health issues.
    Take your time to recover. Enjoy!
    P.S. : I always enjoyed your blogs. And I still do.

    Reply

  7. Thanks for your honest open sharing D! Take each day as it comes, try not to pressure yourself. You have amazing blog posts. Take some of your great advice. Blogging is a LOT of work and maybe start just being good enough and they don’t have to be perfect!
    It’s good you’re talking here about it and this would be a good time to look at seeing a counselor or life coach and win my book! ha.

    hugs and love to you my friend. You’ll get through it but it’s never fun! 💗

    Reply

  9. Feel better, dude. I used to feel like this last year. What helped me was writing anything and everything randomly and then just saving it as a draft instead of posting it. Or listen to calming or meditative music. Just know that you are not alone. Take care, Devang. 💪

    Reply

  10. I’m sorry to hear you have been feeling this way. If possible, I would recommend speaking to a professional because what you described sounds like depression. Take time off if you need to and if you ever need to talk please don’t hesitate to reach out.

    Reply

  11. Sending you a lot of love, Devang. ❤️ please take care of yourself, we care about your health! I’m glad you’re able to share and be honest about your feelings. We will be here when you return. I hope things get better for you, you have my support always. ❤️ Have some rest and do whatever else you need to do for your mind and body. Praying for you. 💗💗💗

    Reply

  12. Mental health is very important, please take care, brother.
    You have focused on your physical health and achieved results too, i wish this happens with your mental health also.
    I hope you feel better super soon.😊

    Reply

  13. Dear Devang, I’m so sorry you’re feeling so lost. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but like everyone has been saying we all care about you, and want you to take care of yourself – just as you’d say to us if the situation was reversed. I hope you reach out and get some help. It may be better to treat your symptoms now rather than it maybe getting worse.
    Take care my friend, we’ll be here when you’re ready.

    Bx 🤗

    Reply

  14. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles right now. I pray that this temporary state resolves soon. Getting some rest and taking a break is often beneficial.

    Congratulations on doing such a good job, taking care of your health by taking break when necessary, taking care of your physical well-being and thanks for sharing so much valuable information with the rest of us.

    There are plenty blogs of yours to catch up on while you take a much-needed break. Pleaee take care!

    Reply

  15. Breaks are healthy. Spending time in nature is a nurturing experience, if you’re able. Take care of yourself and give yourself grace. See you when your return. 💐

    Reply

  16. Dear Devang, Thank you for sharing your genuinely honest feelings with us. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so unwell and depressed. I know from experience that it’s such a difficult place to be. Is there anyone close to you who you can confide in? Have you considered going to your doctor or a specialist in mental health, as you might need antidepressant tablets for a while? Also, anti-anxiety pills might help if your anxiety levels are high. I know you know all about eating healthily from all the wonderful blogs you’ve shared on that topic, but I wondered if you are eating well right now and getting enough vitamins and minerals. It’s important to look after yourself as best you can, even though I appreciate that it’s probably not easy at the moment. I think it’s good that you recognise that you need to take a break from blogging for a while. Your fans and readers will understand and be there for you when you feel well enough to return. Also, you have my email address, so if there’s anything you want to chat about privately, please feel free to contact me, and I will reply promptly. In the meantime, please, know I am thinking about you and wishing you well. Sending you love 💗 and healing, and comforting hugs 🤗. X 🌷

    Reply

      • I’m so glad you’re starting to feel better, Devang. That’s god news, but please just take all the time you need to rest in between doing all your othre activities. It’s good that you’re eating well again, too. Take care of yourself, my friend 😊.

  17. Sending peace, hugs, and strength your way, Devang. I hope the break gives you a chance to reset and renew your spirit. We will miss your posts, but are here for you when you need a shoulder or an ear. Penny Wilson Writes just shared a page of resources for people who are struggling….I wonder if there is something here that resonates with you? You can check it out here: http://pennywilsonwrites.com/2023/05/04/new-mental-health-resources/

    Peace, love, and hugs to you 💞💞💞

    Reply

  19. There isn’t much I can say that hasn’t been said already. I noticed through your comment section that is sounds like your starting to come back around. Which is good.

    What I can say is that I enjoy reading through your articles, or rather your comment section. You have such a strong postive energy in your responses.

    So on behalf of the many who you have given encouragement through your words. Thank you for your inspiration and optimisium.

    Your mental health is far more important than WP blogging. Remember, this is your site. You write what you want when you want and only if want too.

    Reply

  22. At this young age, you should not feel stressed, Devang! I think it was a momentary phase, I can fathom from your subsequent, well researched post. Be happy and enjoy the life, every moment, everywhere 🥰

    Reply

    • I do feel good.

      I shared a blog after this and I’m able to write it freely without any stress.

      Thanks for checking out 🙇🏻‍♂️
      You are kind ☺️

      Reply

      • I m fine. My health is great. Recently I did a semi solo trip to Kashmir. So it has its vibes in my senses. Feeling wonderful ♥️

        I hope to read more from your site. The most recent one I read and I like about the hygiene topic you mentioned about then kitchen utensils. I was thinking to share the information with some of the people I know who do not clean their utensils at night and keep those in their sink for the whole night. I felt so bad. I experienced that while staying the night at that house. I really felt the bad energy.

      • Aha great

        I would like to see if you shared some pics or not of Kashmir.

        I’m from Rajasthan.

        I agree, dirty utensils bring bad energy and it makes the environment morose 🙄

      • Yes, some people are just too much. They do not understand how to keep home with positive energy and then they fight why there is so much negativity at home … ha ha 😃

        Anyways, yes. I he shared some pics in my recent blog posts. Wish to share the scenic beauty of the land as well. I was totally mesmerised.

        Actually initially we had a plan to visit Rajasthan, Jaipur, Agra, Delhi – this part of the country… but as the time went on, the temperature was getting unbearable…so we didn’t visit that part. But I visited Jaipur, Agra, Delhi in my teen. That was a faded memory. So I wish to get to visit these places once more if I get the opportunity in future… Or I will make the opportunity in shaAllah.

        Take care. Keep writing. Keep up
        the spirit dear.

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    Reply

  26. Feeling how you described is so hard to deal with and trying to make other people understand it is even harder. I used to get exhausted explaining and people would give me simple answers or remedies. Ack!
    Please take care of yourself and show up to write when you feel like it. No need to write just to do it. We’re here to read when you write!

    Reply

  29. Hello! I am a licensed therapist that is starting a new journey on YouTube and WordPress. I was browsing others that are helping the community and talking about difficult topics. I really enjoyed this post. It’s okay to take a break. It’s actually healthy even though sometimes society says otherwise because we become obsessed with productivity. You’re doing a great job and I wish you lots of growth and happiness. Enjoy your day.

    Reply

    • Good luck on your journey

      I will support your channel and work here as well.

      I’m doing well now. Yes I had a break, and felt confused. Now I feel much better.

      You too have a great time ahead.
      While check out your work 🙏🏼

      Reply

    • Hi, I’ve visited your work
      And you are doing fantastic job with creating the right awareness.
      Kudos.

      I’ve dropped comment there and on YT ( on cycle of abuse). I surely look forward to learn more from you. Best wishes

      Reply

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